Tuesday, 31 May 2016

If a shy and conservative girl gives you her number on asking, does it mean she is interested in you?

If you made it clear that you are interested in her when you asked for the number, any girl who gives you her number is interested. She may not be ready to marry you, but she has enough interest to want to learn more about you. If instead you prevaricated saying you'd like to study or you need her advice, then she may have taken you seriously and all bets are off.

Don't Go Overboard Yet
If she gave you her number it means she likes you some, it does not mean she wants to marry you or even that she wants to date you. She will figure out later how much she likes you. So contain yourself; you made a good first step but your job has only begun.

Following Up
You now have approval to call her and ask for an introductory date (don't call it that, just call it a date). An introductory date is a 30-60 minutes meeting in a public place, like a cafe, an ice cream parlor or a park. On the date you won't spend much money on her, and you don't expect any more intimacy than at most a hug when the date ends. You will ask questions about her and listen attentively. And she will ask questions about you which you will answer honestly, while showing some sense of humor, if you can.

After the introductory date is over, the girl will reflect on whether she likes you more or less than she did before. You will call her and ask if she enjoyed the date and if she'd like to do it again.

If she likes you less after the first date, she'll either tell you she prefers not to have another date (if she is assertive and knows what she wants) or she'll  show reluctance to meet you again, if she is young, shy or not assertive.  Reluctance may be expressed in many ways:

  • not answering calls
  • returning calls slowly
  • returning calls by text message
  • Having a very busy schedule
  • Can't meet on the day you suggest (and won't offer another day)
  • reluctant tone of voice
 If she is anything less than delighted and excited to hear from you after the first date, tell her thank you for the date and wish her well. Then don't call again. Strangely, although she has decided against you, it is you who gets to stop the relationship by no longer pursuing her.

If she does show strong interest in you after date 1, then arrange a longer more private date 2, like a meal in a restaurant. You can spend some money now (but don't overspend. She does not want to know how much money you have yet). At the end of date 2, you can show your interest in a way that is appropriate in your culture. In the West, that is with a kiss (or kisses) at the conclusion of the date. In the East, you may take it slower.

Very important
If she has decided against you at any point--do not get angry with her. It is not an insult. She did not lead you on. She has not humiliated you. She simply decided you and she are not a strong enough personality match--and she is probably right. So be gracious to her, do not call her again and look for another girl to ask out instead.
https://www.quora.com/If-a-shy-and-conservative-girl-gives-you-her-number-on-asking-does-it-mean-she-is-interested-in-you

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